Sunday, October 29, 2006

What kind of REST are you getting

What kind of REST are you getting Running, Exhaustion, Stress Temptation. The Rest we get when we live according to what the Human Race requires of us. We work all week, dealing with what the world throws at us in our work, in our homes, and just in our personal lives. Then we it comes to our weekends we spend the 6th day catching up on all the things we missed doing because of our weekly schedule. By the 7th day which is suppose to be our day of rest, we do take a few minutes to just relax but we are still finishing up the chores so we will not have to deal with it next week, and after that we have to start getting ready to prepare for starting that work week coming. Seems living in that world we do not have much time for rest. All the word rest means to us is Running, Exhaustion, Stress, which leads to the Temptation in Life that lead us even further away from the rest that God wants for us. A restless heart leads to a reckless life . We need to learn to submit our schedule to God's wisdoms, it is necessary for us to operate at an optimal level. Restoration, Energy, Spiritual fitness, Tribute to God Gods REST for us consist of restoration on that day we choose to submit to his schedule for us. We do that by being still and listening to what he has to say. Psalms 23 verse 2 & 3 states: 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his names sake. I ask what are your still waters you seek to restore your soul, where are you green pastures to lie down in to seek Gods wisdoms. It is a must that we find at least one full day to be quiet in a calm peaceful place to get spiritual restorationon. By doing that we receive great new levels of Energy, the kind of energy we need to go out and face the challengeses that the world throws at us daily. This makes us spiritually fit, and in the end being all that you can be for YOUR LORD is the ultimate Tribute to God. So I say Rest in the Human Race losses Life, but Rest in God's Place gains Life.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Don't Be Afraid Of Suffering

This Sunday I started my new church experience with United Methodist. I am so glad I have learned to listen when God prompts me in new directions now. I have felt God filling new parts of my inner soul these last few months, and at the same time I felt myself acting like that pervarable stubborn mule with his seat planted to the ground as he trusty lead person was trying to bring my him safely. That has been me off and on these last three years, more on than off I would have to say. I am stepping up more and letting my own trusty lead(GOD) have the reins. I have to say I was truly touched as the Pastor spoke of not being afraid to struggle. He told many stories about life and struggling and ended all with God will take care of You. There is a verse he read that I loved, and it goes. Do not fear what you are about to suffer... we boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not dissapoint us....revelation 2:10, and romans 5:3 In the past my struggles made me weak, sick, and came close to producing death for my own soul. That was when I did not understand, because I did not know God. While stuggling still scares me, I know my struggles will not last forever, God will take care of me, His love is everlasting, his promises does bring me hope thru the hard times now. I think I am going to like this new church of mine. My young daughter likes it too. These feelings stirring inside of me I know are the things that God is preparing in me to help me pay forward what he has given me in my last three years of recovery. I am glad I found a church that makes me want to go into the depts of those things stirring in me and explore what it is God is doing there. I am looking forward to the future for me and for my family. God's Love is an amanzing thing. Sonja

Thursday, October 19, 2006

and the journey begins

Wednesday Oct. 18, 2006 a day to remember. For about 6 months now I have been searcing for the answer to help my daughter find her way to start her own little journery to God. I have been on mine for three years now, and came to the realization it is time for me to step up to the plate and help do for my kids that my wonderful christian family has done for me. My 12 year old is wheel chair bound with spina bifida. She is very quite, timid, and shy when amoung new people and enviorments. At the beginning of my recovery she did go to church with me, and everyone was nice to her. Still Jesse told me Mom, I just do not feel that I belong here. The people are nice, they come to me and greet me, then they just sit me in the corner and expect me to be the nice girl that just gets to spectate and never be involved. Now I know alot of that is because she is so shy, but also in my opinion if you are going to have teaching for all children then you should forcast ahead of time for those with special needs, if you are going to invite them into your fellowship. So me being the mom that caters to all Jesse's emotions, and sometimes that is a negitive thing even though I think I am keeping her safe. I stop going to church so she would not have to, and on the occassion I did go I let her stay at home with big sister. That is another story in itself. I found a church called United Methodist, and they even have on their web site, special needs ministry. So I did some calling lost of e-mailing, and made arrangements for Jesse to go to their Wednesday night fellowship class, before us starting to church that following Sunday. Last night was her first Wednesday night, and when I got home big sister was coming her hair while Jesse was sitting in the wheel chair crying and saying please do not make me go. I did make arrangments for her best friend to go, and while she still did not want to go, doing that did get her out the door. We got to church, and I left her and her friend, with big sulky frowns and sad faces with the group of kids and leader. It was so hard walkng away from that, and just leaving her there being so sad. Two hours later I go and pick her up, and she is with three other girls just laughing and having a good ole time. I was so happy to see her having that kind of fun fellowshiping with kids her age. She talked and talked about all the kids and what they did, and even ask about Sunday. I said do you and Narussia want to go back next week, and they said Yes. So here we are starting a new adventure with God with the children. I am excited for Jesse and Narussia. I will keep you posted in their progress in days to come. God is amazing. Sonja

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Long Black Train By Josh Turner

There's a long black train Coming down the line. Feeding off the souls that are lost and crying Tails of sin only evil remains. Watch out brother for that long Black Train. Look to the heavens, You can look to the skies. You can find redemption, Staring back into your eyes. There is protection and there is, Peace the same burn in your ticket for that Long Black Train. Cause theres victory in the Lord I say, Victory in the lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train. Theres a engine there on that Long Black Train. Making you wonder if your ride is worth the pain. He's just a waitin on your heart to say let me ride on that long black train. But you know theres victory in the Lord I say, Victory in the lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train. Well I can hear the whistle from a mile away. It sounds so good, but I must stay away that train is a beauty making everybody stare, but its only destination is the middle of nowhere. But u know theres victory in the lord I say, Victory in the Lord. Cling to the father and his holy name, and dont go riding on that long Black Train I said cling to the father and his holy name and dont go ridin on that black train. Yes watch out brother for that long black train The devils a ridin that long black train.

Monday, October 16, 2006

MeMe Five Things

Five things I would do if I had 5 minutes to myself..... 1. Take a fishing pole and a lunch and go to a stock tank to do some good ole fishing 2. Go to the horse lot and just sit and watch the chickens, goats, and horses play and eat(I do that daily all by myself it is great) 3. Go and get my nails done, hadn't done that in years 4. Get some candles, bath oil, and have a long hot bath, and this one I would give 30 minutes instead of 5 5. Go to my computer and write, finish my book healing-hooves. Everytime I get close to finishing, I seem to have more to say. Five Items I'd love to get rid of..... 1. The fear from my girls hearts about lifes stuggles, we are working with God on this one daily 2. Getting all this weight off of me so I can go out and enjoy life with the girls more 3. The doubts that my friends have that keep them from going to their next step of recovery 4. Dysexia, and all spinal cord birth deffects 5. World hunger, especially for the children Five Items I would'nt part with... 1. My Childrens love 2. My passion for writing and telling my story 3. My extended family 4. Friends who deeply love and accept me. 5. God Five words or phrases I would love to hear....... 1. For my mom to say I am sorry 2. For my oldest daughter to say I am ready to leave this darkness and come to the light with you and Jesse 3. From my work, great job and now it is your turn to go to the next level of success 4. From my friend Sam, I am having the surgery 5. From Me, I am woman hear me roar, This is a good meme, it makes you think, I tag anyone who needs something to do today.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

making liberty in christ a reality in me

Understanding the meaning of mind, soul and spirit being complete with God. Equations that will equal liberty: This was my study last night in Breaking Free. It is fascinating to me that you can hear words spoken over and over, matter of fact for me it has been three years now. I have done all the steps to my recovery, listen to the sermons on Sunday, hear God speak thru my beloved friends, and still I always seem to be off in the balance of completion with my mind, soul, and spirit. Then God came to me in the most profound way last night. I for the first time understood why, why my life began as it did, why it went in the direction my parent choose for me, and why it is changing in the awesome direction God is leading me in. I also for the very first time had to mourn in great sadness for my own parents, and while that part did make me very sad, it also took away a tremendous sense of why I was always so unbalanced within my own self. I hope this will make sense to you. It is such a huge thing for me. My lesson last night: When I was created it was by God's truth, and I was a pure newborn babe, ready to be molded for all his glory. Then came along my parent’s truth. While they came to this world just as I did, they however changed the direction of what they wanted their truth to be all about. This is where the equation comes in. My parent’s truth soon became controlled by their experiences in life, and the environments that they choose to be surrounded by. They choose their own perception of truth by that equation, and their own selected memories soon distorted the truth more and more. They also choose for their surrondings not to include the teaching of God's, and choose to live by societys example of what goodness means. One big thing too. Since their truth had none of God truth to balance their inner souls, their lives became incomplete always. Satan lies began to hold them captive, and they choose those lies to build my own foundation, which took me away from God's truth that God wanted me to be molded by. This made me be held by Satan’s lies also for many many years. I forgot the goodness that God created in my heart, soul, and spirit on the very day of my own birth. Here is the good thing though. The next equation. God’s truth is greater than my own truth. So I begin to learn some of God’s truth and that made me feel better. I started to be a good person again. I learned that all the things my parents told me that God hated me for, all those things I could be forgiven for, and God never hated me, he just needed me to understand the total equation for Liberty. It was last night that I not only realized that I am a better person now since my recovery, but that also that goodness that God created in me at my birth, has always been in my soul, my heart, my spirit, it was always there. I just forgot God’s truth, when I let my parents truth became mine. What freedom I felt when I finally got that last night in all of me. My truth plus the truth of God that I now know embrace love and live does equals freedom for me. I then at that very moment became very sad for my parents for the first real time. My dad died two years ago and when he died he had his truth, but none of God’s truth in him so he died incomplete. That made me cry for him in a true sense of loss for his own spirit and soul. My mom well she is still alive but also chooses to live with her truth only. She does go to church I hear, and I do pray for her, and will now even harder because I want for her what God has given back to me. Freedom. I woke up this morning still the same Sonja as I was yesterday, on the road to recovery, being excited for the next adventure that comes my way on this journey with God. And oh yea one more thing. I feel a new balance in my life, one that I know is going to take me to new levels with my Friend God. I am grateful for my friend Jan who ask me to do this study with her, that gave me a new breakthrough for my life. I know this study of God’s words was the necessary thing to help me in making my liberty in Christ become a reality for Me.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

For Paulette

This post today is for my friend Paulette, I Love You My Sister “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, you Savior’” Isa, 43:2-3 To me my good friend Paulette and I know to you too this is saying His presence is the basis for courage in our storms. I know the winds are raging with you now, and the waves in the storm are higher than ever, but God he is over both the wind and the waves. Sometimes it is in the most extreme of storms that his PRINTS are seen the most. He is in this with you I know you know that, and he loves you because you are created in his image and all his glory. We Humans will probably never learn to enjoy our storms, but isn’t it an awesome thing that we can learn to enjoy God’s presence in the storms of our lives………..Praise God…………and thank you for being my friend Paulette………Sonja

Friday, October 06, 2006

Being Satisfied Completely

I was asked this question in my bible study class today, and have to say it really hit me hard. This is my first bible study since coming to God, and I am still new to learning all the words of God’s readings from the bible, and having to read the scripture that went along with this question brought back some hard memories for me. Question: Is your soul your spirit your own inmost place the real you entirely satisfied with Christ. Verses Isaiah 55 1-2 Come all you who are thirsty come to the waters and you who have no money come buy and eat Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy. The definition for Satisfied as stated in my book….to fill, accomplish, the filling of something that was empty, the act of replenishment as well as the experience of satiation. I guess I could have done the easy thing and said Oh Yes I am so blessed and my spirit is full and satisfied, but there is this one thing that keeps getting in my way. This is the one thing I do know is for certain....Not only is God’s truth and absolute necessity in my progress for recovery, but my complete truthfulness is also a necessity for my recovery. So I have to say No to this question, I am still confused and scared about do I just say God here it is take it……….or does God expect me to use this Free Will gift he gave me and figure out how to deal in an earthy way and still stay Godly with HIM. This is so confusing to me. In the book is says………why do we work so hard for things that are never enough, can never fill us up, and are endlessly insufficient. When I read things like that, I look at my life as an example………….I work hard, but I do not get to know about the things that are insufficient, or never enough, because I still struggle with just the basics. Basic survival for just living, and being the soul provider for me and my girls. I hear from people all the time……….well Sonja that is just life, 80 percent of people are just like you it will always be that way for some. So for me to be satisfied in my heart, mind, and soul do I have to know what Gods limitations for Sonja is. If God created me in his image, and my mind is now healthy and strong, then why should I have to have limits put on my life and me being able to just do the basics. I know in order for me to have complete freedom means allowing Christ to fill the empty places in my life. All empty places. I know I have salvation from sin, but I do not feel in my heart I have satisfaction of my soul completely. I go and read the part where God says you who have no money come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. I can apply that to my spiritual soul, but it is the reality of what I have to live in while here on earth that I am having a hard time with. I do know that now that I am gaining peace as each day goes by that the hard stuff does seem to be more doable at times, but then it is the big stuff that if you do not take immediate action on will effect the actual welfare of you family that still scares the heck out of me at times. I do accept the help of others now and do not feel shameful for having to get it, but I still would love to live in a world where my kids could say MY MOM can do this on her own, you know just the basics………I know we can never do all things in life on our own, that is the spiritual side I am complete on, it is the completion of all parts of my soul that I am having to work hard at and still get confused on in the present time of my life…… my weak days I use to just all settle for the circumstances that controlled my life be it bad or good, mostly though it was always bad. Now days as I am learning to Love my own self again I just do not want to settle. Still I am learning that there is a great time line that God wants us to go through before all the past damage from our darkness is gone even when we are healed spiritually. I am glad for my new tools God has given me, so that I can live in my current circumstances that are still controlled somewhat from the damage of my past. My Faith is knowing that someday it will be greater; this is just a true test for me from God. Maybe the most important test of all.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Things I Am Thankful For

1. Going thru the Fire and Rain, and having God release the shackles from my feet so that now I can dance and Praise him. 2. Actually feeling that each new day does bring the miracle of his forgiveness. 3. Having the real Love of my family now, and great Trusted Friends. 4. For all the days I now have shining rays of light in my heart. 5. To know that my life is a testimony of Gods love, and no longer a circumstance of past generations dark behaviors. 6. Knowing that God did not forget me all those years I forgot him, and he keep up with all the details of my life to Heal Me and Give Me my Purpose. 7. Knowing that I was created for the purpose of giving Gods invisible character a glimpse of visibility thru my obedience and love for him. I fulfill what I am meant to be when God is recognizable in my lifestyle.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Knowing your purpose from faiths lifts

Discussion: Do you struggle with knowing your purpose? Like me, do you sometimes wish that you could do something HUGE for God; to maybe earn this precious gift of salvation you have been given? Or maybe striving to prove you are worthy of His grace? I use to wish I could do somethingng huge for God to show him how humbled I am for the recovery he has given me. So I would try to find a designated purpose for me that I thought he wanted me full fill for him, and work for that one goal. Now days as I grow I lead my days more by principles because when I do that I feel I am living my purpose for him in all my ways, small as they may seem to most, still it is more unified for God, My list for each day is to Know God and always believe in Him, To Glorify Him in my daily actions, to find satisfaction in Him, To experience Gods peace daily, and to enjoy the presence of God in my life. One of my favorite verses that I try to lead by example with is Isaiah 43:10 You are my witnesses,declares the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He

Sunday, October 01, 2006


My principles for living in my purpose that God has intended for me. Daily study and pray time asking God to guide me and help me apply his teachings and Will in my life. "In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action is dead." (James 2:17) Always make sure my lifestyle reflects what I believe by making sure myt talk matches my walk. "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."(1John3:15) Yield myself to God to be used to bring his good news to others, both by my example and by my words. "Live and act in a way worthy of those who have been chosen for such wonderful blessings as these."(Ephesians4:1) These verses for me is what I try to live by to fulfill my purpose for God. Isaiah 61:1-4 1 The spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good new to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and realease from darkness the prisoners, 2 to prolaim tge year of the Lord's favor and the day vengeance of our Lord, to comfort all whom mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, they wil be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastatedl; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devasted for generations. These verses here are what I try to incorporate in my daily life for my purpose. Isaiah 61:1-4 1 The spirit of the sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good new to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and realease from darkness the prisoners, 2 to prolaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day vengeance of our Lord, to comfort all whom mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, they wil be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastatedl; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devasted for generations.

About me

  • I'm healing hoves
  • From
  • after 20 years of emotional abuse from my family, I have finally taken the steps to comeback to God's Grace and Love. I have been in recovery at Celebrate Recovery for two and one half years. These journals I will be adding from my first book are my encounters of my first two years of recovery. I am writing a second book Healing Hooves it will be a story about my 12 year old daughter who is wheel chair bound and how she found reached to great elements of success thru horse thearpy
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